Feel So Close To Being Real

My heart feels heavy, and has been broken in a million pieces. I consider myself a sensitive person, and love with everything I got. When I lose someone that has impacted my life it's hard for me to turn the other cheek, and not let my emotions get the best of me. Being here in Arizona has been so hard because I feel this extreme guilt that I am not able to readily be at important events to support those I love. For the past two days I have been doing everything I possibly can to preoccupy my mind, and have been praying constantly for Chase's family. When I found out about Chase's situation I did not cry. It wasn't until I read his obituary that made things feel close to being real. Time stops when someone great leaves this world, and each day seems to run longer than the previous. I walked outside to sit on my apartment's stairs to do some self reflection. While sitting in the warm sun I pulled out my phone to see a picture of Chase tossing me around at a dance that a friend sent to me. Chase was amazing to say the least. His charisma and humor touched so many, and will be missed by the masses. Not wanting to go back inside I just sat pondering how I was going to make it back to Utah in time for his funeral. Funeral. Man I hate that word. The thought of making plans to pay respects to an old friend was the thing that broke me. I started to cry.

xxoo by
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